Love of G-d

I am joining with Kate Motaung for Five Minute Friday. The goal is to write for five minutes about a word. No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

Today’s prompt is:

loveofgod - Version 2

love of G-d

What do I have to learn? From yesterday and today? What about tomorrow? What is it You have to say in all the bumps and bruises from today? There is so much to gain in the day to day. There is so much for my heart to take in, yet I often think I have no ability left to receive.

For a moment my soul is captivated by the kindness of who You are. I remember it’s possible.

I then find myself drowning in the ache of disappointment. Just then, You visit me again. Just when I thought I couldn’t handle one more thing, You said that I’d be okay. You said that You’re my Father and You’ll help me. Somehow, despite myself, I believe You. You are so big yet my finite capacity almost paralyzes me at times. You give me the strength to carry on, to take in and embody all that You long to give to me.

Just when my tent pegs feel stretched to the max, You whisper sweetly to my heart, “Just a little more, a little further, just let Me have a little more of you.”

My heart momentarily responds like Job, thinking You ask more than You deserve of me. A moment passes when I realize how preposterous my heart can be in the most critical of moments.

You whisper again, “I love You. I know all of your ways.” My heart crumbles in a puddle of tears on the floor when I hear You. I remember the deal: I give myself to You, You in turn share Your heart with me. I remind myself that this is what I desire and this is what You desire. I remind myself that this will never be easy but it will be the best script anyone could have written for my life.

I remember Your beautiful affections for Your people. I remember Your immeasurable kindnesses towards me. I remember Your pleasure in my life. I am undone. I forget myself and free fall into You. My heart cries out in gratefulness from the deepest places within my being. Thank You Abba.