This is Real Life

I am joining with Kate Motaung for Five Minute Friday. The goal is to write for five minutes about a word. No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

Today’s prompt is:



This is Real Life

You are more real than anything
I’ve ever tasted
You are more real than anything
I could ever have wanted
You are more real than anything
I desired
and all You desire is that I choose You, Your life, Your love
You are more real than all the things I hoped for, wanted, or sought out
Thank You for the essence of who You are, Your authentic love for me

You are more real than any love I’ve ever known
You love is great
Your kindness is unsearchable

G-d of glory
Abba of my heart
Creator of thunder and lightning
G-d of gods
King of the whole earth
Holy One of Israel
There is none like You

Chief among ten thousand
G-d of Abraham,
G-d of Isaac,
G-d of Jacob
You are the one G-d
The real G-d
The living One

The reality of who You are
Penetrating the essence of me
My soul laid bare before You
The reality of Your love
Breathing life into this weary soul
Life for death
Light for darkness
Love for abandonment

You are the beautiful God
Filled with life
There’s nothing more real than You
There’s nothing more authentic than living before You

There is none before You
There is none after You
You love me
I love You
This is real life

Tossed and Pressed by Your Ways

Tossed and Pressed by Your Ways

The tossing and pressing
and pushing of the heart
from here to there
and back again

The attempt to love one another
and live in unity
as one
The most exhausting plan of the ages
to the human condition I’ve found myself in
because I simply want my ways
instead of Yours
I believe my way of going about things will
bring about Your ways
but how can this be

When I go about the faulty plans of man
I will not succeed at bringing Your Kingdom
When I do things my own way
How can You be glorified in the process

When I comprehend Your great goodness
Why would I choose my ways

O God, take me deeper, take me lower
I want to know You more completely
That I would be more like You

O God deliver me from my self-righteous expressions
Yet more
Deliver me from the deep places of self
My ways, my plans, trusting in my own ways instead of Yours

Only if I go low
Can I find You
Servant of all

Only if I am laid bare
Can You fill me
Please come and fill me

I can ask the questions
You can give the answers
or not
You are sovereign
And what I do know for sure
is that You are good

Even in looking at the deepest darkness of man
You come out beautiful
Because You are
and You are the only One good

All the good works of men
Will eventually be seen as they are

Our hunger inside for goodness manifests
You are made known
by the weak things of humanity
Desiring to somehow access the goodness of who You are

Please come and make Yourself known to this weak and fragile one

A Medley of Short Notes to Grief

I am joining with Kate Motaung for letters to grief link up :: share your story

A Medley of Short Notes to Grief
(in which my convoluted relationship with grief displays itself)


Letter to Grief Part I
O grief, my heart and thoughts are divided over you. I love you and I hate you. You’ve been too close of a companion since I was young when my father departed this phase of life.

You remind me over and over that you are there, and that you await me. You attempt to wrap your tentacles of sorrow around my soul, hoping I will again believe you instead of believing Abba. You remind me of my history, and sometimes tell me what my future will be.

Yet, here, O grief, I draw the line. You cannot and will not dictate what is to come for me. My good Abba decides such things, and I will listen to and agree with His desire and care for my soul.

You will not tell my heart what I must believe. Your shadow is not greater than Abba’s light. Your platter of intricately fashioned heaviness that you try to serve me is not tempting anymore. I choose life and joy instead. You are diminishing in me as His whisper awakens my soul.

Use_Your_Handwriting_App 2

Letter to Grief Part II
You are an ebb and flow, O grief
As the vibrancy of the notes of the symphony rise with ever-increasing intensity and then fall again, you are the stringed instrument left playing a soft chilling refrain eerily murmuring to my soul,
I attempt to shut out your haunting melody not wanting to hear one more familiar note

You are not my friend, yet you have been so close
You crept up on me so many years ago
You visited once, and then came back again and again,
Presuming you were welcome

Grief, you are woefully terrible.
You are an opportunist waiting for a miscommunication, or a feeling of rejection, or a lie, or an accusation to hastily show up again

Grief, you haven’t told me the truth. You’ve tried to come and find me and strangle me. You’ve crossed the line.

You’ve attempted to seize my heart as if you were its master
Yet, grief, you are not my master, and you are not my friend
Death, where you find your strength, will one day be overcome
The sting of death is already awaiting burial

Time after time, again and again, you come and you attempt to grasp hold of my heart and my emotions, yet you have lost

Grief, go back to the pit where you belong

Death, sorrow, and mourning will one day soon have its end
Grief, you will go with them to burn up and be consumed by life eternal

Use_Your_Handwriting_App 3

Letter to Grief Part III
O grief, can I cast you away altogether?
For I remember when you first came, and He came as well
I remember when you visited me with your waves of sadness
So He visited me with a deluge of His comfort

O grief, can I condemn you altogether?
For every time you visited, He came too
Every moment you tried to grip my soul,
All I had to do was cry out and Abba quickly rescued my soul from you

As I end my letter, I turn my words and my eyes to Abba who is my true Friend, my true Master, and my true Father

I say to Him:

Abba, Father, My G-d, My Maker
It is with gratefulness I write
It is with thankfulness I am able to seek you
It is with gladness deep within my heart and soul
That I cry out to You today,
To the One who found me in the midst of misery and loss
You found me, You rescued me,
You saved me from darkness and death completely
You brought me joy,
And You will bring me joy again,
That I may know You more,
That I may serve You wholeheartedly
That I may love You and love others freely
Without fear of loss
Your love will wipe out death and sorrow and grief
Thank You that Your love and Your life within will have its way in me


His love is enough – day 14

Joining the 31 Day online writing challenge

Every Day for Thirty-One Days
Abba’s Heartbeat for Israel

31 Days edit big

Today’s Prompt: Away

His love is enough

I can’t run away
from You,
From Your unrelenting, persevering love
Your love chases me down
When I’m not sure if anyone’s there
or if anyone cares,
Your love wraps all around me
You bring me to my knees
My heart feels Your mercy
The tears begin to fall
No matter the pain, or darkness,
No matter the anguish I’ve known
Your love reaches me
Your love chases me down

You have a son, Father
Your son is Israel
He cannot, will not get away from Your love
Abba, Father
If Your love is enough for me
Your love is enough
Your love is more than enough for Your beloved Son
Your beautiful one
Abba, may Your lovingkindness that chases me down
Bring Your people near once again
May Your tender mercy fall upon their hearts
May Your beautiful love draw them in
Abba, Your love is enough
For all of Israel’s pain and suffering

Israel, He sees, He knows, He comprehends all your ways
Let Him in again
He will heal Your broken heart
He will comfort your shaken soul
He is enough
And His desire is for you, O Israel
Abba longs that you come home

For Day 11 my perfect Father with a beautiful heart go to
For Day 12 G-d’s choice – a prayer go to
For Day 13 the labor of His soul go to

31 Days FMF

Write 31 Days


a tiny flame from an aching heart

I am joining with Kate Motaung for Five Minute Friday. The goal is to write for five minutes about a word. No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

Today’s prompt is:


I write
I pray
I breathe
I am

nothing of my own to give
except my heart,
no offering that looks extravagant
just my “yes”
no sacrifice or else I would bring it
just day to day following my Father’s way
nothing drawing attention
of the world
or the peoples
just a tiny flame
from an aching heart
that I willingly offer
to the G-d of my life

this is my offering today
this is my gift of love to You

is this surrender

I am joining with Kate Motaung for Five Minute Friday. The goal is to write for five minutes about a word. No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

Today’s prompt is:


to secure
to fasten in a safe place
to be kept tightly

My heart beats,
feeling just a bit more alive
in this moment
Because I know He holds me
Every hour, every moment
My lifeline
My G-d holding me
Keeping, Hedging, Holding

I hold on – face like flint
He holds me

Yes, that’s what I say
that’s what I shout

I hold on – won’t turn away
He holds me

When all around
Other voices say
to hold on to every other thing
rather than let go
and let Him hold me
I say, I shout

I hold on – trust
He holds me

No matter what

I hold on – I am Yours, You are mine
He holds me

An intimate word that feels
Your arms wrapped around me

I hold on – crying out, believing
He holds me

A G-d who
Chooses to come and be
to come and dwell

I hold on – is this sweet surrender
He holds me

Begin Again

I am joining with Lisa Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday. The goal is to write for five minutes about a word. No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

Today’s prompt is:


To begin again
To start fresh, anew
To look at things differently
To choose life wholeheartedly
To run hard again

Let’s start this race together
In order to finish it together
Take in your surroundings and set your pace
And know that you know
Above all else
He is with you
He is for you
His goodness surrounds you
And will keep you

Choose to set your mind to begin again
The twists and turns of life take us on a journey
We never could have imagined
And never could have prepared for

So when life takes a hard left
Hang on
Choose to trust
He hasn’t forgotten nor forsaken you

His everlasting love
For His firstborn people Israel
Is proof positive
That He is faithful
And He does not lie

G-d bless Israel today in her day of difficulty
And teach us to pray with you
And teach us to trust who you are to Israel
And in this, may we be upheld in our day of testing
As we stand with Israel in hers

Five Minute Friday