Created for G-d

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There is a heartbeat beating – ba boom, ba boom, ba boom. It is the heartbeat of the creator. It is the heartbeat of the one God. It is the heartbeat of Abba.

There is an ache inside the one and only God who created all things.

He created the molecules that make up the elements within the air that I breathe. He created the raw material that makes up my physical heart that beats and pumps blood and causes me to exist. He created my emotions, my soul, every part of me that feels and desires and wills and wants. This was brought into existence because of his desire. By his will I exist. Every part of my life that speaks, speaks because of his plan and his longing for me.

By his will you exist. You live and breathe and have being because God himself wanted you here. Every living being was created by God. Every person on the earth today, throughout history and for the rest of the existence of humanity was created by God. Whether you love him, you hate him, or you want him not to exist, he made you and he wants you still. You can wish he wasn’t there because of the suffering of your life, but you cannot will him away. He exists and he will always exist. He never did not exist.

All the brilliant thoughts of man are incomparable to the reality that we think because God is. He created and stewarded our minds to think. He fashioned and formed all humanity in his own image. You think because he is. You feel because he is. You live because he wanted you to live. You are a part of his family because he desired you to be. He wanted every human he created to be a part of his family because he is Abba. He is a father in his very essence.

He will continue to exist far beyond my life, your life and the lives of all those yet to be born. All things exist because of him. Everything good exists because of him. The ability to offer your love to him was given by him. The ability to love at all was instilled inside of us by him because we’ve been made like him. He is our creator and he is a father and he is the only one good. Nothing apart from him is good on its own. He gave us the ability to love him. He gave us the intent of heart and the emotions within to love. Love is from God and he loves us as his creation. He wants us to offer ourselves back to him freely in love because of the love he showed to us.

He gave us love, life and the ability to freely choose him. The choice between life and death, good and evil were given by him. Choose to love him. Choose life and good. Choose to follow him all the days of your life.

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Adoption Day

Abba, I Belong to You 2

Writing Every Day for Thirty-One Days
about
Encountering Abba’s Heart
Links to each installment can be found here: http://wp.me/s3vZRl-31days

Day 8: Purple

He loved her so much. She loved him too. He was so good to her, so kind to her. Little girl loved her Abba and her new family.

Little girl had always dreamed of being a princess and someone’s daughter. She pictured herself wearing a beautiful gown of purple with a tiara that fit her perfectly. She imagined her beautiful castle, but even more she always imagined her wonderful family.

Abba knew little girl’s heart’s desires. He surprised her with the purple gown of her dreams and a tiara as well one morning. It was the morning of her adoption.

Little girl loved her new beautiful purple gown. She couldn’t wait for everyone to see her wonderful Abba. As they got ready to go to the adoption ceremony, he took her hand in his and they walked together. This was the day she’d always been waiting for: the day of her adoption. The day she officially became a daughter of the king.

Shortlink for Sharing: http://wp.me/p3vZRl-e2

Joining the 31 Day online writing challenge
with

http://write31days.com
31-Days

and

http://katemotaung.com/31-days-2/31-days-of-five-minute-free-writes-2015-edition-link-up-here/
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A Heart to Love You

I am joining with Kate Motaung for Five Minute Friday. The goal is to write for five minutes about a word. No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

Today’s prompt is:

Gift

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A Heart to Love You

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This gift You’ve given
The gift of a heart to love You
The gift of intimacy with You
This gift of friendship with G-d
I do not take it lightly

Let me never forgot all You have done
That I might know You
That I might love You
That I might be Yours
All of the days of my life

Thank You for giving me the gift of life
You who are filled with love, with joy, with beauty
Thank You that I find life inside of who You are
That Your life sustains me

Who am I
That You formed and fashioned me in my mother’s womb
To be Your child, Your beloved One
To give myself fully and completely to You in love
To love You with all of my heart, mind, soul and strength

I love You
Let me love You more
Thank You for a heart that has been softened and touched by You,
by Your presence
Thank You for a heart that has been molded and made,
day by day,
into the image of the Creator
Thank You that I am united with You in love

What a beautiful gift You’ve given
Thank You, beloved G-d
Thank You, Abba
Thank You, Melech ha’Olam
There is none like You

http://wp.me/p3vZRl-aW

Your Kindness

Your Kindness

Abba, are You really that kind and that good
Is what You say what You do

How much do You desire that I love You freely,
Without fear
and without shame
How much do You want me to run into You,
into Your arms when I am afraid
when darkness is too close to discern
How much comfort is available in Your heart for me

Abba, G-d of wonder, beautiful Servant
You have awed me with Your love
You have made Yourself known to this heart
that barely believed love was real

Your love, without conditions,
has shaped my heart
Your love has awakened real love
through which life and light can shine

How could I ever express my thankfulness to You
How could I ever give enough
My whole life is at Your dispense
and I make that choice again

For You are my life
You are my source
You are my strength
and You have become my salvation

No one compares
No darkness comprehends
Nothing can come close
to all that You have done for me

You truly are all I have
All my fountains are in You
There is none like You
Not one besides You
You heal and transform
the hearts of men
There is none who removes the blindness of eyes
and the hardness of heart
except You
You alone can soften this heart
You alone can help me see
You alone can heal this life

G-d who is worthy of all praise and thankfulness
G-d who created all things,
by Your will I exist,
for Your pleasure I was created
Therefore, I give it all back to You
I give all I am and all I have back to You

You are my Love,
You are my Life,
You are my Source,
and my Strength
You have become My salvation

http://wp.me/p3vZRl-aF

This is Real Life

I am joining with Kate Motaung for Five Minute Friday. The goal is to write for five minutes about a word. No extreme editing; no worrying about perfect grammar, font, or punctuation. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.

Today’s prompt is:

Real

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This is Real Life

You are more real than anything
I’ve ever tasted
You are more real than anything
I could ever have wanted
You are more real than anything
I desired
and all You desire is that I choose You, Your life, Your love
You are more real than all the things I hoped for, wanted, or sought out
Thank You for the essence of who You are, Your authentic love for me

You are more real than any love I’ve ever known
You love is great
Your kindness is unsearchable

G-d of glory
Abba of my heart
Creator of thunder and lightning
G-d of gods
King of the whole earth
Holy One of Israel
There is none like You

Chief among ten thousand
G-d of Abraham,
G-d of Isaac,
G-d of Jacob
You are the one G-d
The real G-d
The living One

The reality of who You are
Penetrating the essence of me
My soul laid bare before You
The reality of Your love
Breathing life into this weary soul
Life for death
Light for darkness
Love for abandonment

You are the beautiful God
Filled with life
There’s nothing more real than You
There’s nothing more authentic than living before You

There is none before You
There is none after You
You love me
I love You
This is real life

http://wp.me/p3vZRl-aA

Tossed and Pressed by Your Ways

Tossed and Pressed by Your Ways

The tossing and pressing
and pushing of the heart
from here to there
and back again

The attempt to love one another
and live in unity
as one
The most exhausting plan of the ages
to the human condition I’ve found myself in
because I simply want my ways
instead of Yours
I believe my way of going about things will
bring about Your ways
but how can this be

When I go about the faulty plans of man
I will not succeed at bringing Your Kingdom
When I do things my own way
How can You be glorified in the process

When I comprehend Your great goodness
Why would I choose my ways

O God, take me deeper, take me lower
I want to know You more completely
That I would be more like You

O God deliver me from my self-righteous expressions
Yet more
Deliver me from the deep places of self
My ways, my plans, trusting in my own ways instead of Yours

Only if I go low
Can I find You
Servant of all

Only if I am laid bare
Can You fill me
Please come and fill me

I can ask the questions
You can give the answers
or not
You are sovereign
And what I do know for sure
is that You are good

Even in looking at the deepest darkness of man
You come out beautiful
Because You are
and You are the only One good

All the good works of men
Will eventually be seen as they are

Our hunger inside for goodness manifests
You are made known
by the weak things of humanity
Desiring to somehow access the goodness of who You are

Please come and make Yourself known to this weak and fragile one

http://wp.me/p3vZRl-9U

A Medley of Short Notes to Grief

I am joining with Kate Motaung for letters to grief link up :: share your story

http://katemotaung.com/2014/12/22/letters-to-grief-link-up-share-your-story/

A Medley of Short Notes to Grief
(in which my convoluted relationship with grief displays itself)

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Letter to Grief Part I
O grief, my heart and thoughts are divided over you. I love you and I hate you. You’ve been too close of a companion since I was young when my father departed this phase of life.

You remind me over and over that you are there, and that you await me. You attempt to wrap your tentacles of sorrow around my soul, hoping I will again believe you instead of believing Abba. You remind me of my history, and sometimes tell me what my future will be.

Yet, here, O grief, I draw the line. You cannot and will not dictate what is to come for me. My good Abba decides such things, and I will listen to and agree with His desire and care for my soul.

You will not tell my heart what I must believe. Your shadow is not greater than Abba’s light. Your platter of intricately fashioned heaviness that you try to serve me is not tempting anymore. I choose life and joy instead. You are diminishing in me as His whisper awakens my soul.

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Letter to Grief Part II
You are an ebb and flow, O grief
As the vibrancy of the notes of the symphony rise with ever-increasing intensity and then fall again, you are the stringed instrument left playing a soft chilling refrain eerily murmuring to my soul,
I attempt to shut out your haunting melody not wanting to hear one more familiar note

You are not my friend, yet you have been so close
You crept up on me so many years ago
You visited once, and then came back again and again,
Presuming you were welcome

Grief, you are woefully terrible.
You are an opportunist waiting for a miscommunication, or a feeling of rejection, or a lie, or an accusation to hastily show up again

Grief, you haven’t told me the truth. You’ve tried to come and find me and strangle me. You’ve crossed the line.

You’ve attempted to seize my heart as if you were its master
Yet, grief, you are not my master, and you are not my friend
Death, where you find your strength, will one day be overcome
The sting of death is already awaiting burial

Time after time, again and again, you come and you attempt to grasp hold of my heart and my emotions, yet you have lost

Grief, go back to the pit where you belong

Death, sorrow, and mourning will one day soon have its end
Grief, you will go with them to burn up and be consumed by life eternal

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Letter to Grief Part III
O grief, can I cast you away altogether?
For I remember when you first came, and He came as well
I remember when you visited me with your waves of sadness
So He visited me with a deluge of His comfort

O grief, can I condemn you altogether?
For every time you visited, He came too
Every moment you tried to grip my soul,
All I had to do was cry out and Abba quickly rescued my soul from you

As I end my letter, I turn my words and my eyes to Abba who is my true Friend, my true Master, and my true Father

I say to Him:

Abba, Father, My G-d, My Maker
It is with gratefulness I write
It is with thankfulness I am able to seek you
It is with gladness deep within my heart and soul
That I cry out to You today,
To the One who found me in the midst of misery and loss
You found me, You rescued me,
You saved me from darkness and death completely
You brought me joy,
And You will bring me joy again,
That I may know You more,
That I may serve You wholeheartedly
That I may love You and love others freely
Without fear of loss
Your love will wipe out death and sorrow and grief
Thank You that Your love and Your life within will have its way in me

LetterstoGrief

http://wp.me/p3vZRl-9a